well-behaved chaos

anarchist-anachronist:

iriefl0wer:

anarchist-anachronist:

hairypitsclub:

I am fluffy & proud! Everyone says they’re gross/smelly. I think they’re beautiful. Shaving is the worst thing to happen to femininity.

I’m glad this person is proud and happy with their body, but the anti-shaving shit gets old. Like, no. This is tumblr. There’s such a wide array of first person narratives on bodies and presentations here that stating things like ‘shaving is the worst thing to happen to femeninity’ comes off as ignorant and disrespectful. If I want to shave or not shave any or all parts of my body I should be able to without any judgements or commentary from folks in the supposed ‘body-positive’ circle. Bleah, I usually don’t post things I’m annoyed by, but this gets under my skin for some reason.

No one is judging you. ALL bodies are beautiful. But furry pits tend to be less accepted. And this is me adding fuel to the acceptance fire :)

Right. It’s good you’re speaking your voice in body acceptance and self-love.  I guess that last sentence in your original statement feels really unnecessary. What is it saying about people, specifically ‘feminine women’ who choose to shave? Does it mean they are upholding this supposed ‘worst thing to happen to femininity’? I’m just saying, in participating in body-posi blogs that (should) inherently involve rethinking gender and beauty, statements like ‘shaving is the worst thing to happen to femininity’ can come off as judgemental of those who shave. Also, on a side note, I’d like to believe that the worst thing to happen to femininity was the patriarchal paradigm that boxed it into an objective concept of beauty in the first place.

^^^ this.  I shave when I feel like it.  I’ve gone through long phases where I haven’t shaved.  I do it because I like how it feels and looks on ME and MY BODY.  My hair, or lack thereof, doesn’t have an impact on how feminine I am.  The “worst thing to happen to femininity” is the policing of our bodies and the idea that doing X makes you more feminine, or less feminine, or a bad feminist.

Someone wrote up a big post trying to rebutt the picture going around with the big text “femininity is not antifeminist,” saying that nobody ever said that.  No, nobody ever explicitly says this… but it’s definitely implied by a lot of people.  It’s often implied, whether intentional or not, that if you don’t shave that you’re subverting gender norms and reclaiming your own femininity, which implies that if you DO shave that you’re conforming.  There’s a new standard of beauty among those that reject convention, and that standard is that feminists and queer ladies are MORE queer and MORE feminist and MORE desirable if they have thick, dark, hairy pits and crotches and legs.  My body doesn’t look like that.  My body hair doesn’t look like that.  I’m jealous of people who have body hair like that, just like lots of girls are jealous of women that conform to other standards of beauty (tall, skinny, nice teeth, etc.)  It’s all just the same shit.  It’s all elitism.

Femininity is demonized in this culture.  Femininity is associated with weakness and subservience.  Masculinity is associated with strength and leadership.  For a long time, I would play up my masculine attributes while down playing my feminine ones.  The most feminist thing I’ve ever done is trying to embrace my feminine traits and realizing that they’re NOT weak.  They’re just different.  They’re still a part of me, and I’m tired of pretending that they’re not.  This is internalized sexism and it’s a very real thing.

So I groom my body in a way that I like.  I do what makes me feel better about myself and what feels right for me.  And you know what?  Maybe a part of why I shave is because that’s what’s socially acceptable in this culture, but that doesn’t invalidate how I feel when I do it.  I’m not going to refrain from doing something that makes me feel good because I’m afraid it will make me a Bad Feminist.  I am introspective and I analyze it and acknowledge the possible reasons why I do it, but no amount of doing that will change the emotional reaction I have to something.  I’m working on it. 

I have a similar dilemma when it comes to embracing my submissive sexual side, because female sexuality is almost always portrayed in the media (and pornography) as passive.

This shit is messy.  There’s no road map.  What’s right for me isn’t necessarily right for anyone else.  All I can do, all anybody can do, is analyze it and do what’s right for them and fuck the haters.